Sports Shorts
by HuskyWashu
Summary: Hoo boy, my first Animaniacs fic! ^^ The Warners try out several wacky sports under the semi-watchful eye of Dr. Scratchansniff. Chapter 4 up!! Yay. At last! o_O
1. Random intro

Animaniacs - "Sports Shorts"  
  
I've never written an Animaniacs fic before. Plus, I had no idea what I was writing until one just kinda popped into my head. So pardon this. It's got a slow start and it might feel rushed but I wanted to get part of it up, at least, first.  
  
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Int. Water Tower, 7:12 AM  
  
The Warner siblings are taking a siesta in their bunk beds (Don't you just love thesauruses? Really). Yakko is sleeping on his side. Dot is sleeping on her back, looking sickeningly adorable holding a teddy bear with a content smile on her face. Wakko lies on his stomach, crosswise on his bed, clutching the blankets that are dangling over the side. The scene actually looks quite peaceful.  
  
There is a loud knock at the door. The gears on the back side of the mechanical door churn and it opens, revealing Dr. Scratchansniff. He hurries inside without bothering to close it.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Okay, keedz, up and at 'em. Vakey-vakey time, now, ja?  
  
Yakko is the first to stir. He sits up sleepy-eyed.  
  
Yakko: Hunhh?  
  
He gets blinded by the light outside (Shut up about my logic).  
  
Yakko: Yah!!! *shields the light from his eyes*  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Yakko, get your siblings up, ve're having a busy day today.  
  
The psychiatrist walks over to the Warner's kitchen area and grabs a box of cereal and a carton of orange juice. Yakko juts out his bottom lip, rubs his eyes and steps out of bed. He balls a gloved hand into a fist and pounds on the side of his sister's bunk. She instinctively yanks her covers and rolls over onto her side. Yakko blinks, shrugs and heads off.  
  
Her sleep perturbed by her brother's rude awakening, Dot awakens moments later. She yawns and stretches, feeling something soft touch the back of her hand. Dot turns around.  
  
Dot: (knowing what it is) Wakko, do we need to belt you into bed at night or you do like getting imprints of the sides of your bunk on your stomach and face?  
  
Not receiving and answer, she tugs on the blanket. It slips easily out of Wakko's slackened grip. This not waking him up, she pokes her brother's feet. They twitch, but he's still sleeping. Frustrated, Dot forms the blanket into a ball, swings her legs over the side of her bunk and heads up the ladder. She gets a nice view of her brother's pantless butt.  
  
Wakko: *snore snore*  
  
Dot grabs her brother's tail and mildly yanks it. Wakko's ears immediately jump up.  
  
Wakko: AAEEII! Clowns eating my pants!!  
  
Dot: Wakko, you don't wear pants.  
  
She throws the blanket at him. It hits him in the head and covers his face.  
  
Wakko: (muffled) Good morning to you, too, Dot.  
  
She backs off the ladder. Meanwhile, Yakko plops down into a chair at their table. He blinks slowly. Dr. Scratchansniff sets a bowl of Sugar-Coated ACME Snacks and a glass of juice down in front of him. He stares blankly.  
  
Dot: (walking over) Why did you get us up at seven o' clock, Mr. Early Bird?  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Ve haf a very busy day today. Besides, it's not seven o' clock, it's 7:15.  
  
Dot: Why?  
  
Dot pulls back a chair and sits down. Wakko is making his way over to the table.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff. It's unanimous that you three are still causing vaaayy to much mayhem around heere! So -  
  
Wakko: Don't you mean "anonymous?"  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: No. So, Plotz und I have decided to come up vith -  
  
Yakko: @@@@@@hh, I think you meant "anonymous."  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: No I didn't. Ve've come up vith a vay to keep you three under-  
  
Dot: Come on, you know you really were going to say "anonymous."  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: No I didn't!! Now please let me continue!  
  
Y,W&D: OKAY!  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: (looking like he was about to scream something) Uhhhh, okay. Anyvays, the CEO and me shall-  
  
Yakko: Oh, please! "The CEO and ME shall?" What kind of proper sentence is that?  
  
Dot: Go back to school!  
  
Wakko: Yeah, give us a break!  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: AAAGHH!! SHTOP correcting my GRAMMER!  
  
Yakko: "Grammer?" What's with the spelling??  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: (trying to contain his anger) You.  
  
Wakko: You know, it's not good to keep in all your anger.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: .little.  
  
Dot: Yeah! You should take a relaxing bath.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: .br - huh?  
  
Yakko: Warm water is just what the man needs!  
  
Yakko pulls down the screen like you would an overhead projector screen. They are now standing on a mountain. The sibs spin around rapidly and when they stop they are wearing the perfect winter attire. The psychiatrist just stands there stupidly, rubbing his arms and shivering in the cold.  
  
Yakko: Well, here we are!  
  
Dot: Yup!  
  
Wakko: (is building a snowman) On Mount EVEREST!  
  
"Everest" echoes as the camera pans out.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: AGH!  
  
Yakko: Now all we need to do is dig up a hot spring!  
  
Wakko and Dot run off-screen and return with four shovels.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Uh? *shiver* Ve're going to dig for zem?  
  
The Warners nod their heads and grin. They thrust their shovels into the snow and begin digging.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: *stares at his shovel sticking out of the snow* .  
  
Minutes later.  
  
The siblings strike the ground one final time in unison. A rumbling sound is heard (and felt) and a decent-sized crack splits the ground under the doctor's feet. Yakko, Wakko and Dot gawk as a huge jet of oil shoots from the ground and bounces Scratchy into the stratosphere.  
  
Y,W&D: Oops.  
  
Yakko: Heh, who knew?  
  
Wakko: I sure didn't!  
  
Yakko and Dot stare at Wakko as the camera fades out.  
  
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I promise, the next chapter should be more interesting! Really! o.o; 


	2. Hey! Hey! It's Underway! XD

Chapter 2  
  
Please don't bug me about my crappy version of Scratchy's German accent. I KNOW you will. o_o So I'll stop it and leave his accent up to you happy people. Enjoy! BTW, the actual 'sportage' should start next chapter.  
  
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Fade in to Scratchansniff, standing on the mountain with an arm and leg cast. He looks really miffed but contained.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: (pleadingly) Okay, now will you please, please, PLEASE let me continue?  
  
Y,W&D: Mmm..Sure!  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Thank you. (clears throat) Now, Plotz and I have devised a new method to keep you three under control for the day (Yakko walks up next to the doctor and shakes his finger at his sibs as if scolding them) (the doctor glances at him out of the corner of his eye). It's really quite simple, but I realize it could be hard to pull off as you constantly-  
  
By now Yakko has begun that trademark.thing that he does. With each phrase Dr. Scratchansniff says, Yakko acts along to it, occasionally making faces at him behind his back, making 'crazy' motions or pretending to gag.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: (continuing without noticing Yakko) -and jumping around my office (Yakko imitates a monkey) and terrorizing my patients. But as I have said before, the CEO (makes a gookie) and I have agreed that I am going to keep you sane for a day. And the plan all revolves around-  
  
Yakko: (stops with the motions) The Earth?  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: .No. Why, sports, of course!  
  
Wakko: (slaps forehead) Of course!  
  
Dot: Why didn't you say so, silly?  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: (flatly) I was too busy wringing the oil out of my clothes.  
  
Yakko: (rubs hands together) So, what's first on the list, Scratchy?  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Well, seeing as we are in a.colder climate, why not start out with the winter-themed sports, ja?  
  
Y,W&D: Ja!  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: .So, hockey is first then, all righty?  
  
Y&W: All right! (they high hive each other)  
  
Dot: Aww, why such a violent sport? (pouts)  
  
Yakko: Don't worry Dottie, you can be the referee!  
  
Wakko: Yeah! No need to make a girl "violent" (makes the little quotie marks in the air).  
  
Yakko and Wakko snicker. The guys start walking towards an ice rink, which has conveniently appeared out of nowhere, when Yakko is beaned in the head by a snowball. (I assume you all know this is sibling rivalry, correct? We all know they're not that mean ^_~)  
  
Yakko: What the? (rubs his the back of his head and glances around)  
  
Dot is standing in the same place, whistling a tune and secretly bouncing another snowball in her hand behind her back. She winks at the camera. Yakko doesn't notice it, though, and joins his bro and the doctor. A second passes before Wakko's cap flies off his head.  
  
Wakko: Hey! (runs over and picks up his hat and looks around as well, dusting off the snow. Yakko turns around)  
  
Dot is still whistling, looking innocent. She notices her brothers' suspicious glances and looks hurt.  
  
Dot: (pitifully) What? You think a little girl like me would toss a snowball at her big strong brothers? Now why on Earth would I do such a mean, cruel thing like that? (accent on the 'mean' and 'cruel') (sad puppy dog eyes)  
  
Her brothers glance at each other and sigh. Yakko motions for her to join them as they continue over to the rink. Dot skips contentedly over the snow to her sibs. Dr. Scratchansniff is waiting for them.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Tsk, tsk. All that and we haven't event gotten inside.  
  
Dot: Let's go then! (she pushes open the doors and heads in)  
  
Yakko: (following suit) Dot, I didn't think you were so eager to play.  
  
Dot: Oh, I figure I ought to prove to you that girls can, too, play hockey. Just as well as you guys. Or better.  
  
Wakko: We never said you couldn't.  
  
Yakko: Yeah, we just implied it.  
  
The two start cracking up again. Dot leaves the rink in a huff. Dr. Scratchansniff holds the door open for her with a quizzical look on his face.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Okay, now that we're here, why not change into your uniforms?  
  
Yakko: (stupidly) Duhh.I think that sounds like a good idea!  
  
Wakko: (stupidly) Yeah, mee tooo. Huhh!  
  
They both slouch over like cave people and laugh like idiots. Dr. Scratchansniff does not look amused.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: (throws their hockey clothes at them) I'll be waiting for you monkies out on the ice.  
  
The brothers make monkey noises and whap each other with sticks. Dot returns with a huge pile of snow in each hand. She has a devious look on her face.  
  
Dot: Since you two are a bit preoccupied, I think I'll just exact my revenge right now.  
  
Dot stuffs a pile of snow down Wakko's shirt, then grabs Yakko's pants and shoves down the rest. The two boys pause a moment.  
  
Dot: Three.two.one.negative one.  
  
Yakko and Wakko start hopping around wildly, shaking themselves and pulling the openings in their clothes wider to disperse more snow. Dot giggles and walks over to where the psychiatrist put down her clothes. She puts them on over her skirt, straps on her ice skates and glides out onto the rink, hockey stick in hand. When the two are settled down, they mutter stuff, and put on their uniforms, realizing their sister had beaten them and remembering the grudge she had against the name "Dottie."  
  
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Woo! Now we're actually getting somewhere! 


	3. Notice thing

Hey peeps! Guess this isn't an actual part of the fic or anything. Now, I know, haven't been updating recently. That's cause 1) I'm working on school stuff, plus I hafta practice the piano and drums. And this futhermucking Science Fair.which is actually not that bad, but still. 2) I'm working on another fic, yay me, that's much better than this one, plus I *actually* have the motivation to work on it. 3) I don't know where the frick I'm going with this one. gasps at her meany-ness o.O  
  
So, that's why it's now up to YOU, da viewers, to help me out! *point point* Erm, if ya wanna, that is. All I need is for you peeps to give me a sport, preferably with its rules, and maybe give an example of what you want to happen during that segment. Trust me, I think this fic'll be a LOT better with you ideas ('cos I have none. o.o). Sure, you may call me lazy, but I call it *dun da da DUUUUN!!* WRITER'S BLOCK!  
  
Yeah. So give me some ideas if you're think I'm worthy. And, sorry about the lack of update. Oh, yeah. One more thing. If you have a good name for an evil doctor guy, I need one. Yes. I am very needy when it comes to writing stuff. But dun worry, cuz it's for that poopy "X for the Moment" thing I'm working on. Thanks, all might peeps of the FanFiction world! -Husky/Washu 


	4. Sport 1 is HOCKEY 1

All righty, back by semi-popular demand, I give you Scratchy's accent! So enjoy it until I embarrass myself again. On with the chapter! (oh yeah by the way, I don't know much about any sport, so bare with me if I'm missing some rules =P)  
  
Another thing: Sorry this took SO long to update. And a very *special* thank you to the reviewers. I LERVE YOOOOOSS! ^_^  
  
I do not own Animaniacs...I think you know that, by the way.  
  
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Out on the ice rink, Dot stands on one side and her brothers on the other (they didn't need words to decide the teams). Scratchy stands between them, holding the puck in one hand and his stick in the other. The three siblings finally stop snarling at each other and look at him skeptically. Uh, oh, I dunno, seeing this guy in a hockey getup would probably just look funny. *shrug*  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Vhat? Vhat's with the funny looks you're givink me?  
  
They look around and at the floor, whistling. He glares at them.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: ...Ooh, you know vhat I think, I think that you think that I look funny, is that vhat you're thinking?  
  
Yakko: I think that's what we think.  
  
Wakko: Me too.  
  
Dot: Mm-hmm.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: ...  
  
Wakko: (banging stick on the ice) C'mon! Let's get to playing!  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: But the teams are uneven.  
  
Dot: (hotly) So?!  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: (backs away slowly) Ehh...  
  
Yakko: Come on, Dot, don't let your emotions get in the way.  
  
Wakko: Yeah, you're scaring Dr. Scratchansniff.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: (cowering behind the walls of the rink) I didn't mean to be sexist...  
  
Wakko: Heh heh.  
  
Dot: (sighs) All right, but who's gonna be my partner?  
  
Wakko: o_O  
  
Yakko: (puts his hand to his lips and kisses the air) Good night, everybody!  
  
Dot: Uh, teammate.  
  
Yakko: Weeelll...(pulls someone from off-screen) @@@@hhhhhhh...How 'bout him? (points)  
  
It's Ralph.  
  
Dot: Mmm, no. (shoves Ralph off-screen)  
  
Ralph: Daah, hey!  
  
Wakko: How 'bout Scratchy? (jerks his thumb in Scratchansniff's direction)  
  
Dot: Ehm, I think I scared him too much...  
  
Yakko: Well fine then, jeez, ya wanna be by yourself?  
  
Dot: Um.more girls to beat you!! 'Kay?  
  
Yakko and Wakko exchange annoyed looks.  
  
Dot: And I know just the girl! (takes a phone from nowhere and dials a number) Hi? It's Dot. ... We're playin' hockey! Wanna join us? ... No? But we can beat my brothers! ... Okay! See you in a few!  
  
Her brothers stare at her for a sec.  
  
Dot: What? You think she can just travel by phone or something?  
  
Before they can answer, the doors fly open. Everyone looks over to see who it is.  
  
Minerva: Hey! (is already in hockey attire)  
  
Dot: Hi, Minerva! (they high-five)  
  
Yakko: O.O  
  
Wakko: O.O  
  
Minerva: ...oh, boys...(sigh)  
  
Dot: Yeah, I know. Anyways, on with the game!  
  
Yakko: Whooooaaa, wait a second! She's gonna be on your team?!  
  
Dot: ...yes...  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff skates out onto the ice, now in a ref's uniform.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Dot against Yakko. Best two out of three. All righty?  
  
The two nod and stand before each other.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff sets the puck down and blows the whistle. Then gets the heck outta there. Dot and Yakko smack their sticks together three times. Yakko whaps it after the third touch to Wakko. He heads on down the rink.  
  
Wakko: (tongue sticking out.in concentration!) No one in my way now...  
  
He is about five yards from the goal when Minerva skids in front of him. He stops suddenly and stares.  
  
Wakko: Daaahhh...(drools)  
  
Minerva smirks and slaps the puck away, and chases after it.  
  
Wakko: (shakes his head quickly) 'Ey! Um...(follows her...somewhat happily)  
  
Yakko: (blows a sharp whistle using his fingers) Hey, hold on!  
  
Everyone stops.  
  
Dot: What now?  
  
Yakko: ...That was an interference.  
  
Dot: Oh, please...  
  
Minerva: (shakes her head slowly)  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Back to ze game! (blows whistle)  
  
While they're distracted, Yakko zooms up and hits the flat black thing away from the mink. She blinks, and huffs.  
  
Dot: I'll get him, you guard the goal.  
  
Minerva complies and flies ahead of the oldest Warner. Yakko looks confused for a moment, but realizes that she's not after the puck.  
  
Yakko: (looks over his shoulder to see Dot coming up fast) I'd like to see you take it from me! (speeds up)  
  
Dot: (pouts angrily and accelerates)  
  
The two near the female team's goal. Wakko just stops and watches them.  
  
Yakko: Almost there...  
  
Just as Minerva's about to get out there and stop him, Yakko sticks his right foot horizontally, spraying up shaved ice.  
  
Minerva: Oh! I'm all.WET! Boo hoo!  
  
Yakko: I didn't wanna do that...(sighs) Oh well.  
  
Again, Yakko takes advantage of Minerva's distracted-ness, and scores a point for his team.  
  
Wakko: Faboo! (he skates over and high-fives his bro. Wow, everyone sure does a lot of high-fiving in this here fic. o.o)  
  
The psychiatrist blows the whistle.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: One point for ze.um, boy's team!  
  
The two cheer. Dot and Minerva take their places in front of the half- 'court' line.if there is a half-'court' line, of course. Heh!  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Zis time, Minerva versus Vakko. (sets down puck and blows whistle)  
  
The two touch sticks, and again, the boy's team wins the.um, stickoff?  
  
Wakko: (zips down the rink again. Again.) No distractions now...(trips over Dot's stick) WAAAAAGHHH!! (plop!)  
  
Dot: Gasp! T'weren't me!  
  
Yakko: (glowers at her as Wakko rises to his feet)  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Dot, no uzink (XD) ze sticks as veapons.  
  
Dot: Aww...  
  
Wakko: Awww...!  
  
Dot: o.o;  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Carry on.  
  
Minerva swiftly skates in and steals the puck. Yakko gives chase, as does Wakko.  
  
But it's too late. Minerva smacks the puck into the net before they can reach her.  
  
TWEET!!  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Score is even, with ze boy's team with one point and ze girl's team with one point. Final point. Who vould like to face off?  
  
Yakko: (shooting a glance at his sister) Give me one more go...against Dot.  
  
She nods.  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff...oh you know the drill.  
  
TWEET!!  
  
The two touch sticks three times and both go for the puck.  
  
WHAM!  
  
Both hit the black rubber thingie at the same time, and now it's a power struggle. Dot jerks her stick at a downward angle, and the puck breaks free, skidding towards Minerva.  
  
Minerva: I've got it!  
  
She lets it hit her stick and softly bounce off, and takes it down the...um, court? Wakko flies in front of her though, before she gets too far.  
  
Minerva: Not this time, buddy!  
  
She whacks the puck hard, to Dot, who has gotten ahead of her brother. She receives the pass, and heads for the goal.  
  
Yakko: Wakko, the net! (or whatever it's called!) (skates as fast as he can, over to defend)  
  
Wakko: (dreamily) She called me "Buddy"...  
  
Yakko: WAKKO!  
  
Wakko: Gasp! That's my name! (wheels around to find Yakko trying to get ahead of his sister)  
  
The two are just about even. They glare nastily at each other.  
  
Dot: (in a low whisper) What happened to your goalie?  
  
Yakko: (in a low whisper) We don't have enough teammates for goalies, remember?  
  
Dot: Oh, that's right! ^_^;  
  
Dot speeds up. Yakko does to. It's gonna be a photo finish! *gets tomatoed*  
  
Okay, well, I won't keep you waiting.  
  
Yakko lashes out with his hockey stick to avenge his brother for a similar attack, but Dot is faster. She hits the puck into the net, and trips over the stick.  
  
TWEEEEEEETTTTTT! TTTT!  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Game over! The girls vin!  
  
Minerva: (jumps around) YAAY!  
  
Dot: (slowly slides into the net) Woo hoo!  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: Now line up and shake hands.  
  
Dot and Minerva shake hands with Yakko and Wakko.  
  
Wakko: Y'know, I didn't mind that as much as I thought I would.  
  
Yakko: Ditto.  
  
Dot: ...(sighs loudly)  
  
Minerva: (nods)  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: (under his breath) Now, let's see how much time that ate up...Eight forty-five?!?!  
  
Yakko: (looks up) You say somethin', Scratchy?  
  
Dr. Scratchansniff: ...ohh, it's going to be a loooong day.  
  
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How'd ya like it? I had to freaking force myself to write it though. Oh well, sorry it's so late. Uhm, better late than never? ^_^; ??? 


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